On Being a Drunk

I think I've found my destiny today - I must work at Being A Drunk. Really, I do the whole thing remarkably well, and courtesy of the ludicrously cheap alcohol prices here in Spain, can afford to. I have access to endless mournful music options thanks to having satellite TV, and furthermore a never-ending supply of tear-jerking movies. In addition to these key components, I am equipped with enough tragedies throughout my life to mull over, and a heart that has been broken frequently enough to justify plunging into the lower reaches of the wine glass.
Moreover, I have the ability to feel everything in my very core. Where someone else would feel sad, I feel tortured; when someone else would be happy, I am ecstatic. Being able to have anything experienced on an emotion-scale that ranges far higher and lower than the average, I am the ideal candidate for the role of Drunk.
I wonder if there are sponsorship programmes available. There are for every other damn thing.