'O wad some Power the giftie gie us...

to see oursels as ithers see us!'
(To translate for those incapable of understanding Robbie Burns: 'Oh would some Power give us the gift to see ourselves as others see us.')
Thought that was a rather apt way of starting out today's rant - and being a Burns snippet, it comes across as more intellectual than quoting the title of a Ricki Lake show that was the genuine inspiration behind this. Unfortunately, I can't remember exactly what that episode was called, but since it was Ricki it'll have been something about ten lines long, dotted frequently with exclamation marks.
It was yet another 'makeover show' - when you've run out of people willing to embarrass themselves in front of the nation, just set about transforming them instead - and this time it was concerning married women who dressed in what can best be described as men's clothing. Somewhere inside, the show struck a chord with me. You would not believe the number of times miniature old ladies have been on the point of questioning my going into the women's bathrooms, and I had one particularly ghastly experience in an airport where the check-in staff kept referring to me as 'Mr', despite the fact they were holding onto my passport that clearly suggests I am otherwise. After a few of my withering looks, they did manage to giggle out an apology - damn, I should have taken the chance to sue the airline for, well I don't know what but I'm sure there's something. 'Gender assassination'. Someone successfully sued an airline carrier for veterinary bills and 'distress caused' because low-flying aircraft startled their pet parrot, who fell off his perch and promptly broke both his legs. I think I have a pretty strong case in comparison to that.

Oh, how I wish some people had the gift to see themselves as others (or in particular, me) see them! Why do some of the guys in Oxford wear their collars turned up? How did it become the fashion to tuck jeans INSIDE knee high boots? And what is with kids these days having rucsacs so low-slung they bounce against the backs of their knees? And I wish people would learn that a fake laugh is as noticeable as the enormous zit on their face they're trying desperately to pretend doesn't exist.

In need of filling in some time the other day, I went through one of those endless lists of questions that ask you ridiculous things like, 'Have you ever been caught speeding?' 'What is your favorite [sic] color [sic] for eyes?' (And briefly digressing here, how is it in 'romance novels' - not that I'd ever read such trash, of course, this is all based on hearsay - the heroine invariably has 'violet eyes'. Has anybody ever had violet eyes?? I think it would be more disturbing than appealing). 'What is one thing you'd like others to know about you?' In response to the latter, I put: 'I'm not as miserable as I look.' Thus notifying the world at large that I am aware of how I'm perceived, and frankly I wish more of you would take the trouble to find out something about me before branding me as 'a right misery guts.' If after talking to me for a couple of hours you still reach that conclusion, fair enough. You're probably an exceptionally boring creation who I couldn't be bothered to come out of hibernation for.

I think most people are rushing around desperate to convey one impression of themselves to the world, and not stopping to consider who they really are as a person, as an individual. Even when I was being teased at school for being 'the geeky kid with glasses', I never wanted to change who I am or how others perceive me just to give myself an easier ride. And I wish people would back off, stop trying to transform me into a partygoer with the tightest of tops and the most non-existent of skirts - someone who goes around getting drunk and then accusing any man she unintentionally sleeps with of raping her. (Notably this is usually the case when the male in question is particularly unattractive, in which case he 'undoubtedly' spiked her drink).

Words of wisdom for the day, and paraphrasing someone or other but I really can't think who just now: remember, you are not a sheep.