I thought I was fairly effective at being female but there are whole areas of female-ness that it seems I know nothing about. I'm obviously forever amazed by the volumes of make-up women are prepared to plaster onto themselves in a bid to appear 'attractive', and nail varnish and I are absolute strangers. I remember a post a few months back that talked about a woman ironing her hair - something I've now learned is relatively common practice. Incredible. However, in the last two days a few more things for me to potentially be neurotic about have presented themselves.
The first was an entire photo-spread in something like 'Heat' magazine, with pictures of the typical glamorous stars who are normally paraded in front of their readers as the 'ideal'. There were endless captions, though, regarding the knobbliness of the various celebs' knees. I looked and looked and looked, but could find nothing of the hilarity the reporter clearly found in the images. What the heck constitutes a sexy knee? And moreover, are there actually women out there who wake up miserable because their knees are 'unattractive'? Incredible.
And I saw a snippet of a documentary regarding women with small breasts. Now, I'm not exactly well endowed but hey, you get over it. You think, 'at least they wont be around my knees when I hit forty'. Actually, you don't even think that - you just go, er, right, that's me. I've just watched some insane woman put these enormous plastic suction cups on her breasts at night in order to enlarge them for all of twelve hours. This obviously interrupts wildly with bedroom activities, which frankly is the least of the disturbing thoughts that came to mind. Why are women so obsessed with the way they look?
A final one. This one really took the biscuit - unfortunate expression perhaps, in light of what it is. I discovered that women actually take laxatives in order to lose weight - as in, high dosages of laxatives. Are they insane? Heck, if you want to be slimmer, eat less and go to the gym. Don't pump your body with drugs.
I just cannot envisage doing anything so extreme to my body. Supposedly for 'myself'. My 'self worth'. Dear Lord, how do parents get it so wrong? I've just looked at my knees again and I have no idea if they are knobbly or not, attractive or not. And frankly, I'm much better off not caring.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Just a Rant
No particular focus to this - at least, I'm not starting out with one. Perhaps I'll find a peg on which to hang my ranting feelings.
Like, for example, the message board on Facebook. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook (as I do, perhaps, with most things and people on this planet), and at the moment am in Hate mode. For those of you not in the know, it is essentially a MySpace for university students - and for those who don't know what MySpace is, well, I'm afraid you'll just have to go and find out. I can't do all the legwork for you. To get in touch with somebody else via the website, you can either send them a message - delivered to what is basically an email inbox only the recipient can access - or leave a post on their 'wall', as it is referred to. I can understand leaving a message on somebody's 'wall' if you have a particularly witty remark to make, for example, that is relevant to the world at large. But there are whole swathes of people who like to leave what can only be referred to as highly personal messages on this wall, for all the world to see. Why can't people conduct relationships in private? Don't people want to create their own world apart from the rest of humanity, that is for them and them only?
And another thing. I am fed up with people who make the dramatic statement, 'Oh, you MUST meet so and so, you'll really like them!' For one, don't bother to presume to know who or what I'll like. For two - oh, I can't even be bothered to explain the 'for two'. Its all too depressing.
Now I shall retreat into my world, and urge everyone else to get back into theirs. In our joyful capitalist society our need for other people has been diminished to merely offering services for payment; why do we need to pretend otherwise.
Like, for example, the message board on Facebook. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook (as I do, perhaps, with most things and people on this planet), and at the moment am in Hate mode. For those of you not in the know, it is essentially a MySpace for university students - and for those who don't know what MySpace is, well, I'm afraid you'll just have to go and find out. I can't do all the legwork for you. To get in touch with somebody else via the website, you can either send them a message - delivered to what is basically an email inbox only the recipient can access - or leave a post on their 'wall', as it is referred to. I can understand leaving a message on somebody's 'wall' if you have a particularly witty remark to make, for example, that is relevant to the world at large. But there are whole swathes of people who like to leave what can only be referred to as highly personal messages on this wall, for all the world to see. Why can't people conduct relationships in private? Don't people want to create their own world apart from the rest of humanity, that is for them and them only?
And another thing. I am fed up with people who make the dramatic statement, 'Oh, you MUST meet so and so, you'll really like them!' For one, don't bother to presume to know who or what I'll like. For two - oh, I can't even be bothered to explain the 'for two'. Its all too depressing.
Now I shall retreat into my world, and urge everyone else to get back into theirs. In our joyful capitalist society our need for other people has been diminished to merely offering services for payment; why do we need to pretend otherwise.
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