Amazonian Analysis

Coming to you from the airport in Lima...
If there is a slightly disgruntled edge to this posting, it is because the stupid airline company made me check my bag. Having spent two days touring the Lakes in pursuit of the Lowe Alpine Amazon Carry-On, I did somewhat expect it to live up to its name and therefore be carryable onable. Always. The cursed airline decided to check the weight and as was a few kilos over informed me there was no way I could take it aboard with me (despite the fact that the same airline - Taca, to name and shame - accepted it Buenos Aires to Lima mere days ago). Have thus removed laptop, albeit in a black case, and am carrying that around. Not happy.
Far too much from the Amazon to report in one posting. Was a ten day stint with enough for two blogs happening each day but going to have to try to whittle it down into key elements. First one being, never take a bus on so-called Unpaved Roads in S.America, especially not for 26hours. Second one, never believe a boat-captain when he says sure, we will leave in one hour more. One hour more became, in one and two hours chunks, approximately 50hours more. Was thus trapped in a practically non-existent place called Yurimaguas for a few days, bored out of my skull (as was everybody else) but at least had the opportunity to make friends with my hammock. Dont get me wrong, hammocks are awesome - they rock, both literally and in whatever the other terms are - but in the dead of night in the middle of a darn great river, they arent exactly the warmest of bedfellows.
So I have dived in waterpools, recreating those shampoo adverts (although no talking monkeys saying they believe they have been eating the wrong fruit, unfortunately), and trekked in the middle of the jungle. Where there were monkeys, possibly talking about fruit, but more likely cackling at the group of us straggling along slowly drowning in our own sweat. I have coxed a dug-out canoe - with my usual incredible skill - and dived into the Amazon. For ten terrifying days I was also chocolate free, not by choice I hasten to add, and my brain is now buzzing lightly as a result of three Snickers bars I just ate with an element of, hmm, haste. (Well, I had the whole airline baggage scenario to get over...).
Just realised I left my glasses in check-in bag... Curses. And contact lens change is a month over-due so eyes are driving me insane. Sigh. More Snickers are called for.
I will add a few more snippets from time to time as I remember them, but that is generally a brief analysis of the time in the Amazon. Absolutely fantastic - the place is more beautiful every time I come back. To get to see the rainforest as the sun rises over the valleys, wisps of cloud nestling in the tree tops, is magical. I would say out of this world, but obviously it isnt. It is real, it is here - and everyone should go there. Electric blue butterflies as broad as my hand flash past, the most incredibly delicate orchids that nobody else has ever seen and nobody else ever will see appear randomly in the trunk of a fallen tree, monkeys chattering in the trees, birds and insects of colours that I never knew existed. It is impossible to describe the effect the area can have on you: I am actually in danger of becoming, I fear, a tree-hugger. In addition to my vegetarian tendencies I will now protect all flora.
Although since that would mean forfeiting my Mini... Yes, I will just stick to being in awe of whatever it is that created this world. And on that disturbingly positive note, I will leave you as I have a flight to catch to Mexico. Next post, from a Caribbean beach. Take care, dear reader.

Argentine Postal System, the Sequel

I had vague recollections that I didn't exactly Bond with the postal system last time I was here... had forgotten the sheer torture one has to go through in order to send a parcel. Okay, first let me deal with Box. Box and I took a cab miles away and finally located the entrance to the post office. One guy inside measured Box - exciting, intimate moment there, Box is getting more action than I am - and established that he (definitely male, as just damn stubborn and kind of annoying) was too large to post. The string of expletives that issued from me at that point essentially convinced the guy that he really should just ignore the rules on this occasion or him and Box were going to become somewhat more intimate than either of them had ever planned, and I proceeded to the counter for weighing etc. All going hunky dory until it came to paying, and for some obscure, unknown reason the Argentine Postal System doesnt accept Visa card. After establishing my horror at this revelation, I set off in pursuit of a cash point... which I eventually found. Anyhow, yes, I did send Box. Hopefully we'll meet again, some sunny day. Or rainy, not fussed.
Then today... well yes, another of those 'I should have stayed in bed' days. Set off to post small package, post office round the corner was closed due to power failure so had to walk a ridiculous distance to the next, where I was informed my parcel was not wrapped correctly for postage. Asked the lady how she expected me to wrap it, if not in brown paper with tape, and apparently - APPARENTLY - they want me to glue the paper down. Who in their right mind is going to send a parcel half way round the world that is merely glued together?? Especially one which contains a damn ball-gown?? This means I will now be carrying around in my rucsac, along with a laptop, selection of feminist books, series of Jeeves and Wooster DVDs and the other usual travelling gear, a ballgown.
Have retired to my room for the rest of the day, primarily to download as much as possible because I don't know when I'll next be able to use my laptop on the internet. Would be armed with selection of empanadas (essentially miniature pasties, to enlighten the Brits reading this) but the bakery had no vegetarian ones today. Not one. See? Just not my day.
And this is the last post on here for a week - I'm heading into the Amazon. Replacing really rather luxury hostel room with a hammock. Praying for no close encounters with either crocodiles, snakes, piranhas, bird-eating spiders, jaguars... the list is endless. Just wish me luck. And never, never come to Argentina with a view to posting anything. Words of wisdom for the day from Jane.

Argentine Postal System

So Argentina generally moves at a slower pace than the rest of the world. Well, except for the taxis and buses that hurtle along desperately competing to break all land speed records. Had a demonstration today of just how badly organised some things are though when I went to post a parcel today... Okay, in fairness the parcel is a large box - named, with great insight, Box - that has essentially vast amounts of clothing inside and the odd bean-bag (minus stuffing) for good measure. The usual stuff when you pick up when you travel, eh. Anyway, lug Box to post office, haul up to the counter, and tell the guy there that yes, I want to post it to Inglaterra. Guy informs me that there is only one post office in the whole of Buenos Aires that posts parcels over 2kg and that is on the other side of the city and closes in ten minutes.
Have thus returned to hostel armed with Box, that is mocking me gently from the corner of the room. Cursed thing.
Good news of the day: think new dress may actually work. Had my doubts, still having doubts in some part of my mind, but will get to see the completed item tomorrow and assess it properly. It is so fitted I hardly dare eat incase I put on a scrap of weight in the next few months... hardly dare eat, she says, surrounded by chocolate wrappers and yogurt pots. Close call between 'keeping strength up' and 'not becoming lardy'. Need a gym. Sigh.
As an aside: really, who does the writing for Dawson's Creek. Absolutely horrendous. Know I've written some rubbish in my time but nothing close to the overly dramatic statements and guaranteed tears-every-episode trash that is churned out here.
That's it. Off to floss. Discovered the Fun Of Flossing the other day and have rapidly developed addiction. Good stress-reliever, and doesn't have same negative impact as chocolate. Can one over-floss??

Brief addition

And justice has been done. Michael Jackson: Not Guilty on all counts. Excellent - having read through all the evidence as it came out etc. and followed the case, firmly believed he was innocent. Bit of a fruitcake, but innocent. Am very glad he's been set free from this hell. WOOHOO, in fact!

No longer connected to the world

Today has just been horrendous. With no signs of getting any better. Started off with that feeling you can sometimes get that is telling you no, stay in bed, the world is being hateful. Having Stuff To Do, I thought had best set feeling aside and so headed out in pursuit of shoes.
Innocently crossing a road, when a car appeared as from nowhere - as is their wont in Buenos Aires - evidently intent on killing me. While diving out of the way I slipped, landed with full weight on right hand and I have done something to my wrist because it hurts like hell. Decided to use the food-trick to cheer myself up so headed for a particularly nice mall where selected vegetable souffle and suitably delectable looking salad; heading for a table when some stupid bint charged into me and yup, food went flying. At this point I just want to curl up in a ball and burst into tears.
Return to the hostel where think nothing else can go wrong, to an email from someone I had a brief version of a 'thing' with. Basically telling me never to contact him again (making it sound as though I hassle him on a daily basis which frankly I don't - haven't contacted in months) because he had to make a decision between me and his girlfriend and on this occasion had to choose her. WHAT? I was not made aware that I was being decided over.
Have decided that all men I have ever known are currently in the throes of going completely mental. Am off to check out the entry requirements for nunneries on the internet. Failing that, will forward my application to St Hilda's college in Oxford and take the risk of being mobbed by women.

Signed soul away - well, temporarily

It is a fact of life that trips will always go over budget. However generous I am with the figures while ensconsed in a suitably snuggly duvet back in England planning an escapade, I am never quite generous enough. As a consequence of the budget for my current trip frankly waltzing off into the sunset and being completely forgotten, I have been forced to sign my soul away already for when I return to the UK. Will be working again for a legal firm back in Plymouth - ´working´ in the loosest sense of the word: it basically involves typing about an hour a day and the rest of the time I can do battle with the likes of Kristeva, Cixous and Beauvoir. While watching my inevitably formidable suntan fade slowly away...
Lancaster folk: I will be invading between around 18th and 31st August, intent on spending the majority of that time in a boat. If the weather forecasters have lied about the forthcoming heatwave, I will not be impressed.
Anyhow, nothing much to report. Have bought more clothes than will know what to do with and am off today in pursuit of shoes and - somewhat randomly - a brace of chocolate brown beanbags. Any Special Requests for items from Argentina to reach me by next Wednesday morning at the earliest as will be shipping everything back on Thursday. Recommend any designer labels, shoes, leather goods (although will not be shopping for gimp hats, sorry people - get your own) and CDs. All so bargainous it is painful to leave the place.
Rant of the day: why did the government take away student grants? With a grant I would not be needing to slave away as a legal secretary, and rather would be able to devote my time to preparing appropriately for Oxford. Well, that or spending Quality Time with my guy. Chuckle.

On Illness and Irritants

First off, I am USELESS at updating this thing when anything is actually happening. Nothing going on? I will write a post most days. So I apologise that when I do have something remotely exciting to report, it is crammed into a brief blog (brief by my standards) and seems all a bit ´busy´.
The American girls who I volunteered with actually managed to be WORSE than I had previously thought possible. Which has to be impressively bad. Ended up some days when I really could not be bothered to exchange even the most basic of pleasantries. The fact that the group I worked with were so disorganised as to not provide bedding of any kind meant that we all had to sleep wearing every item of clothing we had thought to bring (generally not much between us as northern Argentina wasn´t exactly going to be chilly), thus resulting in my acquiring uber-cold that is still causing the odd lung-related issue.
To use all the clichéd lines, it was an ´interesting and rewarding experience´ that I am glad I had. Gave me far too much to think about for a while, but along with the generally depressing conclusions I also have the inevitable ´wonderful memories´ (hate that it is so hard to sound sincere these days...) that I attempted, as do we all, to capture in photos. Actually dislike the concept of photos: invariably they are taken with a view to making something seem what it is not, unless you are snapped by some passing stranger in which case chances are you wont see the picture. Photos are planned, people poised with the appropriate look on their faces to indicate ´having a good time´. If we all had such fantastic times as our photos indicated, depression surely would be a thing of the past. We would bounce around being disturbingly happy bunnies, strolling along rose-petal strewn pathways in our floaty white skirts.
Good lord.
Additional issue of the last few days has been that an ex has attempted to re-appear on the scene, and admittedly it did take me a few days to firmly establish him in my mind AS an ex and in the future as a friend. I have my navy guy - who makes me want to descend into sickly sweet overtures on here every time I mention him but I just about manage to avoid that. I think. Don´t think he reads this stuff but if he ever did, if I´m not careful his ego will swell to an insufferable size and I will never get any sense out of him again.
Hope this finds you well, dear readers, and prospering in your various parts of the globe. As ever, I promise more frequent and more interesting updates - keep hanging in there, one will come along yet...